Supportive strategies

Living with lung disease or lung cancer can be demanding, and everyone needs different support at different times. Over time, you’ll find your own personalised ways to help you handle the day-to-day challenges.

Looking after yourself

Looking after yourself, or self-care, means doing things that help your body, feelings and mind to stay healthy. It’s about regularly looking after your own wellbeing. Paying attention to how you feel, both in your body and your mind, can help you notice when something is having a negative impact.

It’s important to take time for your mental and physical health. Self-care can be something you do each day, as part of a routine to help you feel better. These activities can be different for everyone, and they don’t need to take up a lot of time or money. Work out what activities are the ones that help you the most.

Some ideas for self-care can include:

• Creating a routine: Such as a morning ritual, healthy snack, regular time for reading
• Moving your body: Such as exercise, stretches, dancing
• Taking time to think about your thoughts and feelings: Such as meditation, mindfulness, and journaling.

Checklists and code words

Try creating a list of activities that you can do that might help you to feel more in control. When you’re having a tough time or feeling low, this list can inspire you. It can be hard to think of helpful things when you’re feeling down, so a checklist is really useful.

Another helpful idea is to create a “code word” that only you and your family know. Use this word to tell them when you’re having a hard time, feeling low, or just need a quiet space. The code word should be a bit unusual so it’s not easily mistaken for something else.

Being present

Our brains are quite clever and they like to keep busy. If they’re not focused on thinking about what’s happening in the moment, they can start to wander. Sometimes, your thoughts can go back to the past, making you worry about something that has already happened. Other times, your mind might race ahead, thinking about bad things that could happen. When your brain does this, it can often make you feel upset or distressed.

Staying focused on the “now” is the best way to stop your brain from overthinking. It’s not easy to get your brain to stay present, and it can take a little while to train it. It’s good to practise being present often, as you will learn how to feel calmer and more in control.

Most brains are used to thinking about whatever they like. When we start to train our brain to be still and focus on now, it might want to ‘rebel’ a little. If you notice your thoughts have wandered, try to be kind and gentle with yourself. You can find ways to practise being present using our Mindfulness and Self-compassion guides.

Noticing thoughts and feelings

You can help yourself adapt to change and uncertainty. One way to deal with change or difficult times is to notice what you’re thinking and the feelings that come with those thoughts. Understanding more about these thoughts can help you understand how they also make you feel.

The next step is to accept that it’s okay to feel that way. This can be the trickiest part. A part of your brain might tell you that you shouldn’t feel that way, or that you’re being silly. Your brain is often good at telling you that your feelings aren’t valid. After all, it assesses and judges almost everything, so it’s no surprise that your brain can judge your own thoughts too. But being hard on yourself doesn’t help. It’s much better to be kind and caring towards yourself.

Being kind and caring to yourself

Ask yourself: What would I say if someone I loved very much were feeling the same way and having the same thoughts? You’d almost certainly be kinder, more caring, and less judging with them than you are with yourself. When you’ve thought about what you’d say to this loved one, simply say it to yourself. To make it have more impact, say it out loud.

If you’re having a low or a tough day, ask yourself: What would help you most right now? Remember to think about what you can control. Wishing for new lungs or a cure will just make you feel more hopeless. What do you need right now? It might be to:

• Take a 10-minute break
• Talk to someone – call a friend or support line
• Take a mental health day
• Sit in the sun or spend time in the garden
• Make an appointment or start a task you’ve been putting off.

Try to be your own best friend. Gently encourage yourself to do what needs to be done. One step at a time.

Gratitude

Being grateful is a fantastic way to stay hopeful and positive. Every day, even when you feel tired or low, try to think about a few things that you’re thankful for. Maybe the sun is shining, or you’re grateful for a friend. (While you’re thinking about them, why not give them a call?) You might be grateful for nice neighbours who always say hello.

But gratitude isn’t always a quick fix. It won’t always make you feel positive right away. Sometimes it will, but sometimes you need to work at it. Do it every day, and eventually, it may help. Keep giving your brain chances to feel good, and eventually, it will surprise you!

Resources

• Holistic self-care
• Mind matters: self-compassion and mindfulness