Maintaining sexual intimacy while living with a lung disease is a common struggle and nothing to be ashamed of. Receiving a diagnosis will often affect every aspect of your life, including your sex life. Intimacy and sexuality are an important facet to quality of life and remain a key aspect of relationships regardless of diagnosis.
There are many misconceptions when the subject of lung disease and sex converge. As a result, having open discussions can be a scary topic to discuss with your loved one or health professionals. Intimacy challenges are influenced by a range of factors including medical treatments, shortness of breath and the disabling side effects of medication.
When living with a life-limiting illness such as lung cancer or a lung disease, your coupled relationship as you know will face changes. People withdraw from what was once a natural part of the relationship, spontaneity may be lost, and this may end in rejection.
Here are some tips to maintaining sexual intimacy while living with a lung condition.
Communication is key
Attitude and communication are the keys to resuming and maintaining the sexual and intimate aspects of your relationship. Communication is not always easy, especially when someone is experiencing pain, or illness. However, honest communication is important to maintain a healthy relationship with intimacy.
It can be easy to get frustrated when sex and intimacy happen differently to how it did once upon a time. If one or both partners have difficulty with breathlessness or experiencing other symptoms, it is more important than ever to have clear and direct lines of communication.
Lung Foundation Australia social worker Lilanie Dagg says “Keep the lines of communication open with your partner about your needs, concerns, and any adjustments that may be necessary.”
“Sexual communication can be in the forms of simple chats, discussing sexual likes and dislikes, desires, concerns, expectations and experiences,” added Lilanie.
“It’s natural to feel vulnerable and anxious with any type of change. We shouldn’t feel ashamed to want to discuss sexuality, as physical intimacy is something that can be challenging as a condition progresses.”
It is easy to assume what your partner is thinking or feeling. Communicating your needs can help you work together through the new challenges, and make sex safe and enjoyable. Furthermore, there is no ‘right way’ to enjoy sexual intimacy.
It takes planning
Intimacy while living with a lung disease may take some planning. With symptoms such as coughing, wheezing and shortness of breath, it will almost certainly require some planning around when you express yourself sexually.
“Pay attention to how your body responds during intimate moments and adjust accordingly to prevent overexertion,” says Lilanie.
To ensure you or your partner do not overexert, schedule your sexual encounters for times of the day when you feel most energetic. While this may remove some of the spontaneity, this can help contribute to maintaining a healthy sex life.
Where matters
The location of where you are intimate matters. For example, things like dust, heavy fragrance or smoke can affect your breathing. Ensuring the space is clean and free of allergens will help with breathing while being intimate.
Your indoor environment will also have an impact on your lung condition, and knowing how to prevent triggers assists with avoiding flare-ups. This can further assist with the mood when having intimate relations.
Questions to ask your healthcare professional
Your doctor cannot help you cope with the issues of sexual intimacy and your lung condition if they are not aware there is an issue. As a result, you also need to communicate with your health professional. Keyword being professional. So, you do not need to feel embarrassed discussing sexual health with your doctor.
Challenges in the bedroom with a lung condition are not uncommon. Discussing matters of intimacy with your healthcare professional is crucial for addressing concerns and maintaining a fulfilling sex life.
Questions you may consider asking your healthcare professional include:
- How can my lung condition impact intimacy?
- Are there specific precautions I should take?
- Are there medications I’m taking that could affect my sexual health?
- Can you recommend any resources or specialists to help address intimacy-related concerns?
- Will/do my medications affect my libido or my sexual function?
- Are there any medications that can assist with my lack of libido?
- How can I cope with the emotional aspects of intimacy while managing my lung condition?
- How can I talk to my partner about sex?
- How can I avoid feeling breathless during sex?